Give me some Lip

16 Feb
Lipton + Bosanski caj

You put WHAT in WHAT?

I know I rag on Lipton, but it does have its uses. With the right touch, it can even make a good stand-in for morning coffee.

No way, right? Say it ain’t so. *

But it’s possible. Especially if you’ve got a student budget hanging over your head like a Catholic school nun, rasping, “Thou shalt not spend for pleasure, dearie!”

Of course, by the time you’re reading this, chances are you’ve already spent on the pleasure of tea, so let’s get down to the magic.

The Lipton we’re using here is the usual Yellow Label bag you’re going to find at school or the office. Plain, black, ashy stuff, which has a pretty depressing taste on its own, but this comes in handy! The flavor is so unspectacular that it makes a great base for anything you like to do with your morning pseudo-Joe. (If you’re only doing it for the antioxidants and the “100% Natural!” claim, it’s time to stop reading food labels. Everything is natural–chemicals included. Mass-production companies throw that claim around to make you feel good about yourself. You’re already an awesome person for drinking tea. Why rationalize it?)

What you’ll need this time around is a bag of Lipton, your good tea, a mug, hot water, and an infusing contraption. If you don’t have the hardcore infusers from last week’s hacking, then mesh balls or duckies also work well.

Step 1: Start with a nice, big teaspoon of the good stuff in the infuser. Add the bag of Lipton and your hot water.

Step 2: Let it steep 2 minutes, then pull out the Lipton bag and let it steep for the rest of your usual time.

Step 3: Enjoy an extra shot of caffeine to start your day.

If you’re pressed for time, you can easily apply the hacking method here and still get great results. By blending cheap, high-caffeine tea into your cup like this, you can stretch out the supply of your high-quality leaves. The shortened steeping time of the Lipton ensures that it won’t infect your good stuff with that familiar bitterness, while the coffee flavor adds richness and body to a weaker cup.

For green tea, or other teas that don’t pair so well with a black, just use the same process with another cheap bag of similarly flavored tea.

To you and your wallet: you’re welcome.

* I will not go. Turn the lights off, carry me home. Nananananana na na


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